*Disclaimer: This post is about knowing vulnerability and knowing when you need to call for the lifeline. Thank you to everyone who reached out.
Today was a hard day. Something happened. I won’t get into the specifics, but it sucked.
This is to the friends who pick up when you say “I need to be talked off the ledge, help.”
To the people who arrive with no judgement, a hug and they just say “I hear you had a hard day.” Then offer an embrace.
Today, there will be no photo. No cartoons. No quips. No bullshit.
Nothing but words tonight. Thank you very much.
Just me. Just words.
Some shit happened.
At first, it was just something ordinary. Something I could handle. Something fucked up, but basic. Shit was askew. A bit crooked.
With a bit if time, it morphed. It wasn’t so simple.
Something a bit askew stems from a foundation that is… askew. The flaw is built in. It is fundamental.
I wanted answers. I wasn’t crazy. I deserved answers. Why was it askew? Why wasn’t I being assured? Why was I being ignored?
This, it wasn’t minor. It was my future. Let’s not pretend. It was my life.
It settled in. Enveloped me in it’s folds. Like a blanket.
Like a tide.
An overwhelming feeling of suffocating.
I grasp for breath.
Don’t let it drown me.
Help. I need a lifeline.
Suppress the panic. Don’t let it drown me.
It is actually okay.
Can we talk?
Can you talk me off the ledge?
Take me somewhere else?
Help me find my breath?
Can we break the despair?
Can I stop me from being me?
How are you?
How’s about distracting random bullshit that doesn’t relate to anything at all?
Full. Deep. Free.